2. Saudade

I first heard of this Portugese word saudade from my writing buddy Alice (or Alissi, as her name would be pronounced in Brazilian Portugese). She slipped it into our conversation fluidly one day as she reminisced about a summer evening on a beach in Brazil.

As common with words that trace their origin to a foreign language, the English translation and usage will always fall short of the native reverence for this word. But the closest one can come to describing the word saudade is to think of a melancholic, nostalgic longing to be near to something or someone that is distant or that has been loved and then lost. A wistfulness. Or "the presence of absence" as illustrated in the words below

Saudade for a brother who lives far off.
Saudade for a childhood waterfall.
Saudade for the flavor of a fruit never to be found again.
Saudade for the father who died, for the imaginary friend who never existed…

Saudade for a city.
Saudade for ourselves, when we see that time doesn’t forgive us. All these saudades hurt.
But the saudade that hurts the most is the one for someone beloved”

-Miguel Falabella-

While many of my thoughts around people and places would lend themselves to the idea of saudade, my most recent experience just sprang to mind.

It took me five years to write my novel Reva. Each day of the five years, the young Reva and the people in her world were my constant companions. I hovered as consciously between that time, place, and cast of characters, as I did in my real life - laughter, tears, and all.

Now that Reva is out in the world, I feel this sudden emptiness, a muted but constant longing for those intense hours of writing, of crafting, of conspiring, of discovery, of total and complete immersion as my own story unfolded along with Reva's. It was pure joy. 

So as rightly pointed out by the poet in his lines, I definitely do feel saudade for my beloved Reva. I do feel saudade for an imaginary friend.

After all, the connection was real even though the rest of it wasn't.

What about you?

Can you add to the poem above? (respond in the comments section):

Saudade for _____________